Adding Quality Detail

We are learning to make decisions about the detail we add to our writing. We are thinking carefully about the detail we use to make sure it is the best detail for the reader.

Read our writing and see if we achieved our goal of adding quality detail to our writing.

What is that glowing from? The glow came from the magic key then I landed somewhere. Where am I? It has crocodile green, emerald green all around me. There were noises all around me chomp, chomp, rustle, rustle. The ground felt like it was made out of rotten trees. It was the jungle. We looked around and saw a toucan looking at us. After a minute looking at the toucan it called its flock to ambush us. They started shooting us with orange seeds, bird poo and fruit. They flew as fast as sound at us. While they shot us we ran as fast as a race car on 100 speed. While we were running we met a man behind a tree. The man had jungle camouflage clothes, a hat and a moustache. . He also had a sword he knocked the seeds away  and sliced the fruit in half. All of a sudden the key glowed and we arrived back home. When we arrived home we had a feather of a toucan in my hair.

Author Zane

Twinkle twinkle the key began to glow brighter and brighter. I noticed my room disappeared. The colour got brighter the key got darker. "What, where am I now? Aha there is a door." Creek! All I saw was just green everywhere. I hope there are no evil animals. "O O Ah Ah!" What was that? "Oh hello medium sized monkey. Wait don't hurl that banana! Okay hurl the banana...haha you missed me! Oh you got me now." Just then I fell into a stinky swamp. "Gooey" I stammered. I stared at the not see through water. The water was filled straight up to my neck. I felt gooey and slimy. Finally  got out. "That's so much mischief today." Suddenly the magic key began to glow. Finally I've got home. "Yay I'm home. I didn't like this adventure today."

Author Rana

Is the key glowing? Aahhhhh P-p-p-p-p.

"What a lovely place". Ooooo that's cute a monkey. I crept a bit closer and noticed it was feeding a baby. The monkey looked angry because we got too close. The monkey started throwing banana peels from a couple of years ago. Thankfully he missed. We carried on going. We came to a rope bridge. It was 100 meters down to the jagged ground. It doesn't look stable. Wibble wobble wibble wobble snap. Wibble wobble. "Ahhh we made it to the other side where it was safe. Crash. Bang. Wow lucky we weren't on there. The key began to glow. Its time to go home. Ding. We are home safe and sound.

Author Ruby

Twinkle twinkle. The key that I found in the basement glowed. Suddenly I was in a jungle. "Where am I ?" I said to myself. I felt itchy because of all the mosquitoes in the air. Oo aa oo oo! I heard a monkey. "Excuse me. Do you know the way out of here?" "Yes see that fat hole go to it and jump in." the monkey answered. "Ahhhhh!" I screamed. 

Out of no where a python appeared. My muscles wouldn't move. Inside I felt petrified. It got closer and closer and closer and closer. "Run!!!" I cried. My back touched a tree "Err err" I climbed up the tree. A vine "Weeeeeeeeeee!!!" Smack! I crushed the pythons skull with my feet.

Twinkle twinkle. The key glowed. I was back home and I had a mini monkey toy in my hand. I wondered if I am going on another adventure? 

Author George

We love reading the magic key stories. We used this book as our inspiration for our writing and had our own adventures in the jungle. 

The Magic Key books model how to connect the beginning of a piece of writing to the end.